Dear Harper and Hayden,
I’ve tried to write this over the past month, but I have become paralyzed with emotions each time when I do. It’s been three months since we found out we had lost you, and the pain is still so very near and real. We have thought about you daily, if not hourly. Not a day has gone by that we have not hurt from missing you. For five months, I had the opportunity to love you and your mom in a way that I never was able to before. I was able to care for all three of you in new ways each day. And while this summer has been the hardest three months of our lives, we know that nothing changes the beautiful reality that you are our daughters. Your mom said something so beautiful earlier on that we know that God offers healing, and because of our salvation through Christ, we have an eternal family. There will be a day when we will hold you close again.
I want you to know I spent this summer taking care of your mother. I tried to be as loving a husband that I could be to her, and care for her every need whether holding her close or running to get more ice cream. I just tried to be here for her in any way I could. I want you to know that I have been taking care of myself too. One way I have done that this summer is by running. Through running I have had the opportunity to spend time telling you both how much I love you while on long runs, and have had the opportunity to pray to God who is now holding you tight. Running has become a healing outlet for me. I told your mother early in the summer that I wanted to do something all summer long to honor you both. I decided right then that I would run a marathon to honor my daughters.
Tomorrow morning I will run the Fox Valley Marathon and I will think of you both each mile of the race. I will lean on God to help me through the race for His glory, and I know that you will both be right there with Him to carry me through. I wanted you to know that I love you both, and I am running this race for you. I decided not to run to raise money for an organization, but simply to run for you. I love you Harper. I love you Hayden. You are our girls, and I am running for you.
With all my heart,